What We Really Want by Lisa Greene
In our society we are taught to look outside of ourselves for happiness and peace. We are trained to believe that when a particular circumstance comes about, when we achieve a certain desire, or when another person behaves the way that we want them to, then we can be happy or at peace. Time and time again I ask people, “What do you want?” The answers vary: one million dollars, better health, a good relationship. But when I ask what those things would bring, the reply is always the same: a sense of peace or happiness.
Because of our conditioning, we believe peace and happiness exist outside of ourselves as something that we must acquire or earn. These false beliefs have gotten in the way of the truth. The truth is, below the surface, we are peace, the peace that everything else passes through.
Our programming is so strong it has us believing lies and searching in all the wrong places for the truth. is causes constant stress, and we know all types of illnesses, at their core, come from stress. Adhering to our programmed beliefs is not only detrimental to our inner peace; it wreaks havoc on our bodies. No good can come from believing lies about ourselves.
You must see who you are NOT in order to nd the truth about yourself. Eventually, you must face your conditioning. is means being willing to see the story of you, the beliefs you have about yourself and the fears that hold you back from the truth. We all have thoughts such as, “What if I nd out I really am unworthy?” or “What if they nd out the truth about me?” It is only in facing our fear that we nd the truth of our inner being: peace.
It is frightening to give up our false stories and identities and the lies holding them all together. But facing our conditioning and confronting the fear that comes with it, opens our inner treasure chest. Your true self, the peace that passes all understanding, is revealed to have always been there.
Our programmed beliefs have become our perceptions of our world. Only by witnessing them do we see they are not actually real. We must learn to keep our attention on Truth, rather than our mind’s misperception of the truth. The mind cannot see anything but the story of you. Your mind believes your story is reality. The mind cannot see that we are consciousness itself; therefore it keeps us following and identifying with it, so we miss the truth and live in an illusion of unhappiness.
I spent many unhappy years ensconced in my personal, tragic story. I was the queen of victimhood; that is when I wasn’t busy trying to please everyone so they would like me. Suffering was the name of the game. I grew up with a bipolar mom, so I spent my life tiptoeing around. The answer to the question “What kind of mood is she in?” is what determined everything in my family.
I had such deep feelings of unworthiness that I was constantly trying to avoid. When I look back I am surprised I made it past childhood; I asked to die almost every night. I had no idea who I was. The story I identified with was so painful, I knew there had to be something else. I embarked on a spiritual path and things improved, but I still felt unworthy. I still suffered. After my husband died, my unhappiness was so unbearable, I knew that was it; I had to change something. I heard about a man from Colorado who lay on the floor and watched his mind for many months. I decided to try it myself, and of course, the universe opened up a way for that to happen. I was offered a chance to ranch-sit, which gave me this opportunity. I lay on the bed for eight months. I watched the patterns, the programs, the projection, the victim story, the avoidance, and the suffering.
I began to practice being the peace that everything passed through. I learned to always have some attention on the truth, the peace I truly am. I stopped identifying with my tragic story. The more I identified with peace, the happier I became. I realized the more I identified with my story, the more I had to strive for peace. As long as we are stuck in our story, peace will appear to remain outside of us, instead of our internalized truth.
Your story is mind generated. Thought builds upon thought based upon your conditioning. Fear is the cement that keeps the story together. How can something held together with fear be good? Or even work for that matter? As I began to question my conditioning, my story and my thoughts, they fell apart. As I met the fear, the cement holding everything together fell apart. I realized what I had always wanted, what I was chasing, was right there all the time, but I was so identified with my suffering I kept missing it. Once my attention was on the peace that is my truth, it blossomed. The outer world became secondary.
Often we are afraid to lose some “good” part of the story. I can remember being there myself. Eventually, I realized it was just a story, one that took a lot of energy to maintain. The good in the story paled in comparison to the peace that passed through it. True freedom is when there is no story to maintain. The story isn’t even real. It can never give you what you want; but the truth of your being can.
Lisa Greene has a background in psychology and biofeedback. But it was the eight months of lying on the bed watching every thought that led her to true peace. For more teachings from Lisa go to www.UndoingUnhappiness.com to get her free report and bonus mini course on Undoing Unhappiness.