Who Am I, Really? By Lee McCormick
In the beginning, there was the Light. The Light came from the Source, the Great Mystery, Creator, God: all terms for the World behind the world, the Reality behind our reality, the Sun behind the sun. It seems that if we sit with any great aspect of life for long enough, we come to a place of more questions than answers. Even science, with all its facts and figures, is only a snapshot of information, an interpretation of Reality and Truth. Creation is simply too vast, too multidimensional and ever changing to be defined by any description or way of existing. Our attachment to the need to know who we are, and how life is, has driven us through time. We humans find a sense of safety and confidence in the belief that we know. We have been on a great journey of learning by experience, education, definition, projection and reasoning. We use these tools to take in all that goes on within and around us, and we process our journey into a story of life that works for us.
We create identities and roles to which we give all our attention and in which we put all of our faith. For example, my incarnations in this life have been rancher, commodities trader, musician, father, husband, son, addict, recovered person, teacher, CEO, and on and on. They were all roles I played in my story of life. But as we evolve, we come to realize that who we are, Really, is the one who has lived through all of these phases and stages. We are the ones born into this form of being human; the ones who learn, grow, experience and take on the beliefs that define our perspectives and identities.
None of our beliefs or identities is actually us; they are what we believe about who we are. They are aspects of life’s evolution and experience. We are that Light, that consciousness, that comes into this world of form. From that moment on, we live this journey one day, one choice and one experience at a time.
To return to ourselves – the Light, the Spirit – and to be free to live life without all the attachments we have accumulated, we have to find a way to let go of our belief in what we think we know. We have to find a way to put the past behind us, rather than live with it wrapped around us like a well-worn security blanket. We often find refuge in the predictability of the familiar, mistaking it for comfort. We are taught that we should appreciate material things and not expect anything beyond our basic comforts and needs. If we want something more than the cultural norms, we are seen as ungrateful or selfish.
Like so many others, I lived within these rules until something snapped and I saw myself as a programmed character that had lost an authentic connection to my Self! I was not happy or content. I had a choice: I could medicate my discomfort with food, drugs, money, sex, or any of the other options our culture offers up as solutions to our feelings of disconnection, or I could find the way back to me – to who I am, Really.
In looking for answers, I learned some basic tenets to healing and reconnecting to our Hearts and Spirits. I learned that we have to develop a practice of forgiveness. First, we have to forgive ourselves for all the ways we have sold ourselves out. As children we put our faith in a great matrix of beliefs and stories about life that might not be true for us as unique human beings. My truth is mine; your truth is yours; it is not necessarily something that fits into a blanket belief system.
By forgiving and releasing attachment to the judgments that are interwoven throughout our beliefs, identities and experiences, we begin clearing the mind’s view of life and ourselves. Forgiveness is the key to cleaning our perceptions and uncovering our reality. In many cases, we simply have to forgive others for not living up to our expectations. That is a big one. People are who they are, and do what they do, not because of us, but by their own free will. We have no right to demand that others fit into the role we might want to cast them into.
When we project judgment, we attach ourselves to the objects of our judgment. To forgive is to free ourselves from the energetic connection to the objects of our judgments. Begin the practice of not indulging in the beliefs that hold your judgments in place. This is a practice. It takes time to undo our attachments, but we can do it because we are the ones who created them.
By taking responsibility (owning our part in all of it) and shifting our attention away from the loop of thoughts that support judgments, we can re-create what we have created – our relationship to our Self and the world around us. Practice freeing your Self through forgiveness for the sake of living your authenticity. Blessings!
Former Durangoan Lee McCormick is the co-author of Spirit Recovery Medicine Bag, spiritual healing practices to step away from addictive, compulsive behaviors that hold you back from Living Happy, Joyous and Free! He also co-authored Dreaming Heaven, a powerful documentary that leads you to your authentic self by following the mystery school at Teotihuacan. Visit www.SpiritRecovery.com or www.DreamingHeaven.net.